


I'm Not Your Possession (But I Want To Be)

by Violette_Pleasures



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: (kind of), Arguing, But only because, Carl Grimes is a Little Shit, Conflict Resolution, Consensual Underage Sex, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Fights, Gay Sex, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, M/M, Negan (Walking Dead) Being an Asshole, Psychopaths In Love, Secret Relationship, Sweet Negan (Walking Dead), Underage Sex, and so is Carl, but also kinda, idk - Freeform, negan is actually, sometimes and he knows it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-09 22:50:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13491447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violette_Pleasures/pseuds/Violette_Pleasures
Summary: Leading a group of ruthless men is stressful. Being the son of a leader is stressful. Running an empire and creating the new world order is stressful. Being a big brother is stressful. Adding a secret relationship on top of all that and things are bound to only get worse.All Carl and Negan seem to do anymore is fight. They've just started this relationship and despite the fighting, they keep coming back. Carl needs reassurance that he's more to Negan than some kind of "friend with benefits."





	I'm Not Your Possession (But I Want To Be)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leef](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leef/gifts).



> Hello again! This started with a drabble prompt Leef and I agreed on. The themes we had to work with were "We were living a lie" and Carl hitting Negan and that leading to a hot make out session :3 I may have gone just a taaaad further than making out...oops ;3c This one took a minute to figure out, but once I got it, it came quickly! Thank you again dear for working together with me on this and always being so friendly and kind! I hope you like it!

“Why does it fuckin' matter what we call it? Why are you so goddamn hung up about this?”

  


Fighting is quickly becoming their favorite past time. Carl knew it was bound to happen. The stress of having to keep their relationship a secret was starting to weigh on them both. On top of Negan having to deal with keeping all of his men in line and running an empire, he now had a teenaged (under-aged in the old world) lover who was making demands of him he wasn't sure he could comply with. Carl knew he was being purposefully obstinate, but in a childish way, it ensured he had Negan's undivided attention even if it was only for a moment.

  


They'd been at this for months now. Physicality had come easy to them. When he and Negan were together, it was like a spark to a keg of gun powder, a fast hot flash of flesh ending with a bang. They were both starved for each other whenever they met, pulling the other in for voracious kisses with possessive hands, but they also had time for little else. They were a mess of miscommunication and stoicism.

  


“I'm not—ugh! Why are you so hung up on not giving me an answer?” He doesn't want to do this anymore. He doesn't have the energy for it. He's been asking Negan for almost as long as they've been doing this, what he is to Negan. He wanted to mean something to the man. Right now, he just felt like another piece of tail. His embitterment seeps into his voice. “You know what, no—never mind, I don't want to do this anymore. I'll just go—”

  


“Aw, why not, honeybunch? I thought we were gonna 'hash everything out this time.'” Negan's tone is that horrible, fake cheerful he uses when he's had his buttons pushed. He comes to a stop in front of Carl from pacing like a caged animal around the room. “And who said you could go? Because I do not recall giving you permission to leave.”

  


“Since when do I need it? I came here of my own free will, my decision. I'm not your prisoner.” Carl glares at Negan, not backing down an inch. He's given enough, conceded enough and allowed himself to be weak and cave one too many times in front of this man already. And he's tired of Negan's bullshit.

  


“Don't test me, Carl.” There's a flick of Negan's tongue between his teeth as his lips curl into a smile that looks more like a snarl. “I could have you thrown in a box just like your friend Daryl down there so fast it would make your pretty little head spin.”

  


“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Carl pushes off the chair, crowding Negan, yelling right in the older man's face. “You're acting like a goddamn child! News flash, asshole, I am not your wife and I sure as hell am not your fucking possession! You do not get to threaten me with shit like that because you're insecure as fuck and can't admit that you actually give a fuck about me! You grow a pair and man up, decide what you want this,” he motions between them “to be and you can boss me around all you want.” He's shaking from head to toe, both enraged and frightened, but he doesn't budge, holds his ground firm.

  


Everything is suddenly so still, the only audible sound in the room their heavy breathing. Negan's brows are shot up his forehead, years of creases forming along his brow. All the rage seems to have bled out of him and he's staring at Carl with an indiscernible emotion that he can't seem to be bothered with understanding right now. He's tired of trying to understand Negan and he's tired of trying to pick him apart. Everything Negan was exhausting.

  


Negan growled and strode over to the mini bar, mixing himself another drink. Carl looks up and down the long line of his back, how strong he is, how world weary those shoulders look. He thinks about last night and how easy things had been between them. But everything was always easy between the sheets, it was what came before and after, the feelings, the need for reassurance on Carl's end, that seemed to trip them up.

  


Maybe he'd been lying to himself this whole time. Maybe he'd been stupid to think that they could have anything resembling a “normal” relationship. Maybe they are better off just being friends with benefits. The thought of any of that made his heart sink and he knew he was already in too deep to just be friends. Part of him wanted to just go, but he knew if he did, he'd just be left with an empty hollowness over this man, yet again, that he knew will only lead to him thinking about Negan with an aching redundancy, contemplating every moment between them, trying to figure out what lead to this outcome.

  


“Is that what you want?” Negan turns, face unreadable and posture so confident, and leans back against the bar. His mercurial nature still gave Carl whiplash. He sauntered over, ice tinkling in the crystal tumbler as he set it down and grasped Carl's chin. His thumb grazes over his bottom lip. “You want me to boss you around? Want to be my newest wife?”

  


“Stop it.” Carl jerks himself away from Negan's touch. He's not going to fall for his deflection again. “ _One of us_ has to be the adult here.”

  


He kept moving closer, backing the teen up against a wall. His voice is cold, his gaze even more so, as he rests his arm against the wall above Carl's head. “You wanna be _another prize_ in my trophy room, Carl?”

  


He doesn't even register that he's struck Negan until after the sound of the slap ricochets off the walls and the buzzing sting of his palm sets in. Carl stares down at his hand for a moment, can't believe he actually struck Negan in anger. His wide eyed gaze whips up to Negan's face.

  


Negan slowly turns his head back to Carl and the look is his eyes makes Carl feel like his stomach is full of ice cubes. In a flash, Negan's hand is on Carl's throat and their noses bump because of Negan's proximity. The air between them is charged, electric and tense. For a moment, panic sets in, he's fucked up, he's fucked up so badly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't've--"

 

But Negan's lips bow upwards and scruff and warm breath ghost over Carl's lips with each word. “That tickled. Wanna hit me again, baby?” His tone is low with a distinct grit that Carl translates to I want to fuck you senseless.

  


“Don't tempt me.” Carl challenges with a smirk of his own and a jut of his chin. "And I'm not some trophy...or part of some stupid collection." He's not sure if the fingers digging into his neck are a sign of possession or rage. Maybe both. Either way, its getting him hot. He knows its pointless fighting him on this. Whatever Negan wanted he would give him and say thank you as he handed it over.

  


"I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it. Any of it." Negan searches his face for a moment before he brings his lips to Carl's. And Carl would be shocked, he could count on one hand the number of times Negan had genuinely apologized, but his beard is tickling Carl's lips and scrubbing against his chin leaving the skin there pink and sensitive and all coherent thought is out the window. The hand around his throat slides up, tilting his face upwards as Negan pushes his tongue into Carl's mouth.

  


Carl hates how he is left clinging, hates how his fingers are wrapped tight in Negan's shirt, hates how all the frustration flips into intoxicating want and he's kissing Negan back. He pushes up onto his toes while yanking Negan closer by his shirt, pushing his tongue against Negan's.

  


“C'mere.” Large hands slip down the backs of Carl's thighs and lift him up. Negan places a hand on Carl's ass and presses their hips together, grinding into him. He nips at Carl's plump bottom lip, teasing moans out of him as he walks them to the bed. Dropping Carl on the bed indelicately, Negan immediately moves over him and pins Carl's hands above his head. “Can't have any more little outbursts, can we?”

  


“You're a dick.” Carl scowls, looking at Negan up through his bangs.

  


“Yeah, but you love it.” Negan coos as he runs a hand down Carl's body. The hand slips between Carl's thighs and gives his erection a rough squeeze. He grins when Carl arches into the touch all needy and sweet. “You fuckin' love this, don't you? You love gettin' all fired up, fighting, then hate fucking the shit out of each other.”

  


“N-no! Its not...” Carl blushes a deep scarlet and bucks his hips trying to get Negan off him, but he barely budges. He's bigger and heavier than Carl, covering him until all he can see is Negan. He tries wrenching his hands free without about as much luck. “...its not hate fucking.”

  


“Stop that shit.” The older man grabs Carl's face harshly, giving him a little shake, staring him down. Carl glares right back. “Why isn't it?”

  


“Because I like you, you asshole.” Carl knits his brows together wishing he could hide his face; he's so embarrassed he could die. “At least I'm willing to admit it.”

  


The annoyance in Negan's eyes shifts and they twinkle with amusement. He breathes a quiet laugh, pleased by whatever he sees on Carl's face. Negan crushes his lips against Carl's kissing him rough and demanding. Showing him who is in charge.

  


Carl wraps his legs around Negan's waist, digging his heels into his low back and pulling their hips together. Negan is just as hard as he is, his thick cock straining against his jeans and pressing into Carl. He opens his mouth when Negan's tongue swipes across the seam of his lips, letting him taste and claim.

  


Negan pulls away with one more bite to Carl's lower lip. He kneels back between Carl's spread legs and hastily removes his jacket and shirt. Carl can't stop his eye from roaming all over the tanned skin and muscles and tattoos on full display on top of him, his cock giving a responding twitch. Negan smirks, smug and self satisfied, when their eyes meet and Carl feels his cheeks get even warmer. Still grinning, Negan grabs Carl's shirt collar and rips it open, buttons scattering across the blankets.

  


He wants to complain that that was his favorite flannel, that Negan owes him a new one, but Negan's lips are on his chest, kissing him tenderly all the way down to the waistband of his jeans and complaining is the farthest thing from his mind. He swallows hard as he watches the older man pop open the front of his jeans and pull them swiftly down to his thighs. Negan looks up at him as he applies a kiss to the head of his member, wet and filthy, then trails more down his shaft to his balls. Its turning Carl into a panting, shaking mess, gripping the sheets, feeling like if he doesn't anchor himself down, he might float away.

  


“Dammit kid, you're adorable.” Those are his last words before that wicked mouth engulfs him in wet heat. Negan loosely holds one of Carl's hips, letting him rock up into his mouth, but keeping him from going too deep. His tongue curls around the underside, sliding sinfully along to the sensitive spot right beneath the head, humming his approval when it draws a moaned version of his name and nimble fingers attach themselves to his hair.

  


Carl manages to hold it together for all of ten minutes and he's spilling into Negan's mouth with a loud keen. Negan swallows everything Carl gives him, continuing to suckle on him until he softens and slips oversensitive from between his lips. Panting, Carl watches Negan with a heavy lidded gaze as he raises up and pulls his length out of the front of his jeans and hovers over him, stroking himself. He looks right into Carl's eye the whole time, the hazel honey rich and full of arousal. With a low groan, Negan comes, eyes closed, head falling forward to rest against their foreheads together as he paints Carl's flat stomach with white.

  


After a quick clean up, they sprawl on the bed together, Negan on his back, Carl's head on his chest, a strong arm wrapped across his back protectively. The afternoon sun is golden and mellow, dust motes glittering in the light shining in from the window. They're both silent as they usually are after a fight and the resulting desperate sex. Carl laces his fingers together with Negan's. His eye traces over where their fingers are woven together, bringing their hands up to kiss the older man's knuckles.

  


“I care a lot about you.” Negan sighs and pauses for a long moment.

  


Carl silently waits him out, heart suddenly pounding again. He keep his gaze away from Negan's worried if their eyes met, it might shatter the moment.

  


“I'm sorry for being an ass.” The bed shifts as Negan runs a hand down his face. “Its just...you scare the hell out of me, Carl.”

  


That makes Carl look up fast, needing to see what emotion was playing on Negan's face. He looks tired, resigned to his fate even.

  


“I haven't felt this strongly for anyone since—a long time. Its been a real fuckin' long time since someone made me lose control of myself the way you do.” He turns his head to the side, looking right at Carl. “No one riles me up, genuinely pisses me off, like you do, darlin'. And no one makes me so damn happy like you do. I'm fucking terrified to lose you. I don't know what I'd do, Carl. And all of that,” Negan gestures with his hands as he speaks, “scares me.”

  


Carl doesn't know what to say at first. He never expected Negan to ever be so open with him and now that he has, he doesn't know what to do with it. “I'm scared too,” he finally responds. “I've never felt like this about anyone before. And with everything going on with our communities...I'm scared of losing you too.” His vision kind of blurs and he's surprised when he reaches up to find wetness stuck to his lashes. He ducks his head quickly, feeling embarrassed.

  


“What a pair we make, hm?” Negan chuckles, slides a finger under Carl's chin, tilting his face towards him again. He presses a feather light kiss to Carl's cheek. “If we gotta put a title to it, I think boyfriends is what this is.” He motions between them like Carl had earlier. “Jesus, that sounds so fuckin' juvenile.”

  


Carl grins. “What about partners?”

  


“That's actually perfect, my little buckaroo.” He arches a brow and nods at Carl's hat on the back of the sofa. “Howdy, partner.” Negan pretends to tip an imaginary hat and Carl loses it.

  


“You ruined it.” Pushing at Negan's chest, Carl laughs and blushes brightly. He gasps when Negan grabs him and pulls him up to sitting, straddling his hips.

  


“Now, why don't you show me how good you are at riding bareback.” Negan grins wolfishly and winks. “Ride me like your favorite pony, sweetheart.”

  


“Ugh, you're awful.”

 


End file.
